Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter
asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy
replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my
brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able
to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one!
A Message by George Carlin:
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
A duck walks into a bar and asks,
"Can I have some bread?"
The bartender says,
"No".
The ducks asks again,
"Can I have some bread?"
The bartender again says,
"No".
The duck,
"Can I have some bread?"
The bartender,
"No".
"Can I have some bread?"
"No".
"Can I have some bread?"
"No".
"Can I have some bread?"
"No".
"Can I have some bread?"
The bartender says,
"If you ask for bread once more I am going to nail your beak to the
bar!!!"
The duck asks,
"Do you have any nails?"
The bartender says,
"No".
"Can I have some bread?"
Cheney and Bush were having breakfast at the White House.
The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.."
"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"
George W., looking up from his menu, replies with his trademark wink and slight grin,.... "How about a quickie this morning?"
"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims "How rude! You're starting to act like Mr. Clinton!"
As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers.......... "It's pronounced, 'Quiche' "