Know Your State Motto
Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona
Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas
Lituracy Ain't Everythang.
California
By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts , only smaller
Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
And Our Voting Skills
Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky
Five Million People;
Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!
Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing
Crazies, and Honest Elections!
Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada
Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon
Spotted Owl.. It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum
Texas
Se Hable Ingles
Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedy's
Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And
Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
Home of Brokeback Mtn.
The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place !
Ed was in trouble.
He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift - wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Ed has been missing since Friday.
Cough Treatment
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"