Every year we have 2 Nascar parties---1) Daytona 500-beginning of season and 2) Homestead-end of season.
Our friend's Kim/Ken come and bring her mom (Betty) and her brother (Dave) and usually the kids come as well.
Sunday we had a blast....find out Betty passed this morning in her trailer. Wonderful lady w/ a heart of gold. This one is tough for Suz to take--she was a good lady.
Rest in Peace Betty--no more pain.
If Men Ruled the World:
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game,she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL teamof your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Garbage would take itself out.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
Two words: Ally McNaked.
Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine.
As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."
Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation
The blog is back and Blurf is a happy guy...
Enormous, great wads of thanks to Solonor for the work he did. I know getting the details was a lil frustrating.....email me your address as I have a present for you!
Umm...I think I'll join Solonor in the corner right now-Fran, wanna join us???
Welcome to my newest bestest friend Solonor who is going to help me clean up, update and move the blog
Happy Valentine's Day!
I'm working tonight and Suz was away all weekend so we exchanged gifts/cards last night and we're going out for a nice dinner this coming Saturday night.
While I can't say exactly what the situation is...
To be honest with yourself and your family you sometimes have to show your love in a way that will cause great pain and anguish. Maybe out of this pain will come some healing...
Lord watch over us...amen
Unidentified news columnist in our newspaper said:
"Eagles fans don't deserve a team. They're so mad at themselves that when they're born they slap their mother and boo the doctor!"
Been a relaxing week...
Saturday was our departmental bash--I got really drunk (Suz was driving). We had a blast and I won a free day off of work.
Used it and took a 1/2 day Monday (evening) and a 1/2 day Tuesday (early part). Had a guy come out from work and clean out our dryer's heating vent-ends up there was 5-6 Bird's nest jammed up in there.
Then I fixed my laptop's battery-removed it-plugged it back in and it starts charging.
Did 2 loads of laundry-very productive day.
NOTE: I'm turning off Trackbacks for all posts due to trackback spam.
