Joke Courtesy of Missy
From the complicated mind of Vince Clark:
A bloke walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give
him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the man pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing "My Way" by Frank Sinatra
"That is amazing!" says the bartender and gives the bloke his free beer.
"If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees, so the man pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog. Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
The bartender, completely amazed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for $1000. Eventually the man reluctantly agrees to the sale.
"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off
that frog."
"Can you keep a secret?" say's the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."
Little Billy was in his class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc.
Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Billy aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Billy, "He works for the Bush campaign, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
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Well my wife started Weight Watchers approx 3-4 weeks ago, however I was sworn to silence until the results started showing...
We've both changed our diets (although I won't give up my Caffeine free Coke).
Suz has lost 13 pounds and I am a proud hubby...
Anne has a terrific post about politics, the lies of George W. Bush and the state of the country in general....VERY well written. Fran-I think you'll find it especially interesting reading.
Sitting in the Dentist's Torture Rack....he's shaving down the tooth-I'm sucking Nitrous like it's the sweet smell of Spring and relishing in 3 shots of Novocaine.
Then he puts the temp on and I hit the roof...man did that hurt!!!
...when a baseball player throws a chair into the stands...
He's been charged with Assault-good! Not only has he violated every rule about sportsmanlike behavior but he's going to show again why television viewership and game attendance is crashing for this sport.
But...some team will pick him up if he's released..just like Al Davis of the Raiders seems to pick up every felon he can get.
Hello friends...
Its the Weekend again.
Isabella has been at the breeder's since Wednesday. Suz went camping for the weekend Friday and we figured it's easier to send Izzy to camp for the weekend then have me get up and walk her at 5:30am. She'll come home Sunday after 3 1/2 days of constant running/playing from 8am-10:30pm-she'll sleep until Tuesday.
I spent a lot of time today steam cleaning some puppy spots out of our rug. We're trying to keep the rug in decent shape through the Winter when we'll get a new one after Izzy is fully housebroken...although-knock on wood-it's been 2 weeks with no accidents.
Meanwhile I've had extra time on Everquest. Did a guild meeting...got some XP..making progress towards 55.
Went out for a couple drinks with my newly engaged friends Steve/Megan after work Friday. Nothing extravagant-2 1/2 beers was enough. Now I'm wondering if my gut can handle it anymore. It "poured" out of me a little while ago. No pain-just "splatter" and I think it's time for a 3rd round. Maybe I really shouldn't drink at all.
A local town called Penfield became a big pond due to flooding from the remnants of Hurricane Frances. Ivan is the next one we'll probably see unless it hangs closer to the coast (hope hope wish wish).
Back to Everquest...then go to bed.
I sheared a 1/3 of a tooth off with an old filling...now I need a crown...$778
Fun fun....Rochester gets this terrific transport called "The Breeze"-a fast ferry between us and Toronto. Well it hit a dock in NYC, blew an engine and other assorted odd mishaps. Now they completely shutdown with no prior warning-saying they're out of operating funds.
As the taxpayers gave you $15 million and you're broke?? You didn't think to maybe....PLAN for problems ahead of time???
CATS (the organization owning the ferry>-you screwed us plain and simple. You should take accountability for the situation and fix it posthaste.
This song is terrific!!! It's dedicated to Kat who's dealing with the world on her shoulders-stay strong my friend.
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me
Kitty Kelley, who has written some great exposing, tell-all books about Nancy Reagan and the Royal Family of England has another coming that I definitely want to buy...
The Family : The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty
Note to Fran: To answer your question in the previous comment, they don't have a date yet. You gonna put your blog on a different port so I can read it at work?
Fran has a good post about people blaming Bush for the death of their children who are fighting in Iraq. How many is enough for him to finally pull out? How many of our brothers, sisters, cousins, fathers, uncles and mothers have to die because his father couldn't do it right?
What people don't get is this will never be over. If/when we finally leave, I guarantee you--Internal fighting will continue because that's what they understand. All they wanted was for us to come in-boot Saddam and bolt-now we're still there and they're upset with us....umm..GEE???
Oh, Fran-unfortunately we're so busy this weekend we wouldn't have a chance to see her. Did you get my phone message?